If you’re married with kids like me, and you and your husband sometimes have disagreements about money, you can probably relate in one way or another to the following passage written by Gary D. Chapman, author of The Five Languages of Love series of books. (Chapman wrote it for an article titled “Balancing Your Money Mindset,” which was published on the Today’s Christian Woman website.):
Money was designed to be our servant, never our master. It’s to be used to build our marriage and family and to honor God. Getting a proper perspective on money is the first step to solving financial conflicts. [To the best of your ability] become equal partners. The second step relates to whether you handle money as partners or competitors. There’s no room for competition in marriage; you and your mate are equal partners on the same team. Certainly one partner will need to pay the monthly bills and balance the bank statement. But this doesn’t mean the bookkeeper controls the money. Together you must develop a plan for processing your finances. The bookkeeper simply follows the plan to which you’ve both agreed.
Yes, when it comes to finances and your family, it’s always best to know your priorities, to be clear on your roles as husband and wife, and to have a plan—and stick to it! However, we wives know that sometimes this is easier said than done.
Having said that though, the calling is clear: We are to support our husbands in every way, including in the financial department. We share some suggestions from two wives who are doing just that.
Nida Vergara and Liza Bobiles are both financial educators of the IMG Wealth Academy. They are also happily married to their respective spouses, and have learned how to best support their husbands when it comes to their family’s financial goals.
Nida shares, “One of things I do is help him do a financial check-up yearly so we can assess if we were able to achieve our past financial goals. I also update our statement of account.”
She also ensures that she follows their monthly and yearly budgets. “I help in reducing unnecessary expenses, and support him in increasing our cash flow,” Vergara adds. She also ensures that they are able to save and invest for the future. “Lastly, I make sure that we give back to God through tithing.”
Liza supports her husband similarly, though their family situation is different from Nida’s (and probably, many other families,’ too).
“First off, I’d like to share that our situation is a bit different from other families as I am the main breadwinner of our family, i.e. I am the one who is currently employed and bringing in the monthly paycheck. Be that as it may however, my husband is still the head of our household,” Liza shares.
Given that their family’s situation is a bit different, Liza emphasizes that her support for her husband is unwavering. Like Nida, Liza and her husband do a financial check-up to see what was and what wasn’t achieved from the previous year’s financial goals.
“We then update or revise our goals and, based on these, do the necessary adjustments in our family budget if needed, and make a commitment to each other to stick to the agreed budget,” she says.
Liza also reminds her husband (and herself!) to always stick to their agreed budget. “We also make sure that we always communicate with each other before making any purchases,” she adds.
Liza also supports her husband in finding ways to increase their cash flow during their spare time. “I also ensure that our health care and life insurance policies are in ‘active’ status; and that we are able to set aside funds for our tithes, savings, and investments.”
So, in a nutshell, here are some things wives can do to support their husbands when it comes to finances:
1. Know our family’s financial status.
2. Keep track of our financial goals and adjust them if needed.
3. Have a clear budget and help each other stick to it.
4. Help reduce expenses and increase cash flow.
5. Communicate openly to each other about your finances.
6. Keep track of your health care and life insurance policies (if you have them, which you should, by the way).
7. Make sure that you are setting aside money for tithes, savings, and investments.
Hopefully, these tips will help you (and me!) be as supportive and wise as the wife described in Proverbs 31:
“Who can find a woman of worth? Far beyond jewels is her value. Her husband trusts her judgment; he does not lack income. She brings him profit, not loss, all the days of her life. She seeks out wool and flax and weaves with skillful hands. Like a merchant fleet, she secures her provisions from afar. She rises while it is still night, and distributes food to her household, a portion to her maidservants. She picks out a field and acquires it; from her earnings she plants a vineyard. She girds herself with strength; she exerts her arms with vigor. She enjoys the profit from her dealings; her lamp is never extinguished at night. She puts her hands to the distaff, and her fingers ply the spindle. She reaches out her hands to the poor, and extends her arms to the needy. She is not concerned for her household when it snows—all her charges are doubly clothed… She is clothed with strength and dignity, and laughs at the days to come. She opens her mouth in wisdom; kindly instruction is on her tongue. She watches over the affairs of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband, too, praises her: “Many are the women of proven worth, but you have excelled them all.”