Marriage,  Stories

How to Get Your Man Bond with You

A nagging question for you now might be “Why can’t I get my man interested in spending more time with me?”  Why is it that, more often than not, he would do something on his own, rather than bond with me?

Once again, I will let you peek inside a man’s mind.

The activity per se, is secondary to the questions on his mind that first need to be answered. How long will it take, one hour, one day, one week, or one month?  How much will it cost me? How often do we need to do it? What is my level of participation in the activity, active or passive? Do I need to talk or can I just listen and watch? Can I say no?

It is important for a man to know the parameters and boundaries of what he is getting into. Hence, these questions. Typical of any man, he should know enough information for him to make a sound decision. He should know when it will start, and when it will end. He should know to what extent it will devastate his pocket. He should know what commitment is needed from him. Most importantly, he should know if he has a choice.

Answer these questions honestly and you have a good chance of convincing him to join you in the activity, no matter what it may be, at least once in his life. That is critical for you, that he at least gives it a chance. More importantly, if the activity works out, meaning they are within the specifications you described, then you have a better chance of a repeat performance.

A man will be more than willing go shopping with you if he knows you will only take at most “xx” minutes and will spend at most “yy” hours.

A man will be more than willing to watch your favorite love team with you in a cinema if he knows it will only happen “zz” times in his lifetime.

A man will agree to visit his in-laws if he knows you won’t take no for an answer. But mind you, this is not sustainable and will most likely not work the next time around.

Of course there are exceptions when a man will do things for you without any conditions.  A man will turn off the television and offer his ears and whole heart to you when he senses that you desperately need someone to talk to. A man will even lay down his life for you when your safety is at risk but never will you hear him tell you this.

In the end, your man is worth more than the activities he does with you.  There will be instances when he will join you, and there might be more instances when he won;t. But when you really need him the most, he will be there for you. You don’t even have to ask him to.

Aldy Katigbak

Aldy Katigbak is a dedicated father of four who takes pride in being the kind of man his daughters want for their future spouse. A mentor to his two sons, he coaches them on life, finances, and basketball. Aldy married his first girlfriend and they now serve together in the pro-life ministry of a covenanted Catholic community, actively promoting St. john Paul II's Theology of the Body.

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