Why is it that my husband is spending more time on Facebook than he does talking with me or spending time with the kids? It’s irritating! I feel that he doesn’t want to have a conversation with me or doesn’t want to listen!
Social media can either bring good or bad to the relationships in our family. Facebook for some families is helpful, but for some it is not. It is good to dialogue as a couple on how you will utilize social media networks to your advantage as family. Some tips:
- Establish a set number of minutes you can spend online in a day or week.
- Have a joint FB account, which works for some couples. This way FB feeds and updates can actually be a topic you can talk about as a couple.
- Discipline is key. It would be good to have a “No Gadget Zone” in the home (e.g. dining table during meal time, inside the bed room, etc.).
- Remind each other. When you observe that Facebook is starting to take over your time together as a family, gently remind each other to log-out and to log-in to what is more important and lasting: family time. Often, all it takes is a loving and gentle reminder.
Don’t keep the situation to yourself nor start a fight. There is one predictable thing about marriage – that marriage schools you in personal maturity.
Tell him how you feel. Opening up to your husband about anything and everything is the goal of communication in marriage – this topic is no different. Open communication between husband and wife builds more than trust; it build intimacy as well. I hope you both reach the stage in your marriage where you can be free to discuss anything, addressing issues without letting things get out of hand. You may also choose to understand where your husband is coming from. Although I take it that this has been happening constantly, and he is unaware that it affects you negatively. If this is more than him simply having a bad day, all the more that you should tell him how you feel. Surely, he will make an effort to avoid it next time.
Invite him to draw up some family rules that will protect the values you would like your family to grow in, such as going gadget-free during meal times and in the bedroom; having date nights, game nights, and prayer hour.
I pray you two will soon find your way to more blissful years together.