My wife and I have been arguing crazily about being late. It went from a 1-minute exchange to a full blown argument about other unrelated issues. I said some words I shouldn’t have… How can I take back the harsh words I said to her?

Terrified Terry


Nic says:

There is really wisdom in the saying “Think before you speak.” Just before you take it back and apologize, it would be good to first take time and reflect on why you said those harsh words in the first place. What emotions drove you to say them?  Self-awareness will help you gain resolve about guarding against saying hurtful words. Second, make sure you will be saying sorry with sincerity and humility. Do not even attempt to justify what happened which might result in further blaming and fingerpointing. Keep in mind that the goal is to strengthen your relationship with your spouse and to learn from your mistakes. Lastly, try to write it down if you feel that you can express yourself better that way. Send a sorry card and a bunch of flowers– it still works!

Fights and arguments can and will happen in our marriages from time to time; the next time it does, make it your commitment to express words of care and love that will bring about understanding.

“Words are powerful, it can either build or destroy…choose to build.”

Chelo says:

The greatest milestone in a marriage is not that you have overcome your personality differences but that you have learned to forgive many times over. Your love will grow and mature, so will your patience and understanding for each other. While all you want right now is for the other person to change, later on, you will realize that the very things that irritate you will actually make up your best memories together.

Desire to love. Desire to forgive. Love in marriage is a commitment you will have to renew everyday. As you renew that love, forgiveness will always come as a first step. And every time you forgive, that love will grow stronger. Strong enough for you to hold back hurtful words in times of dicussions or to avoid heated discussions altogether. Even if sometimes you still fail, you will always find a way to start over.

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