I just had a recent argument with my spouse over getting my hair done. He thinks I’m overspending again! This is one of the many arguments I’ve had with him. Every move I make makes him think it’s gonna cost him. Sometimes, I feel he fails to see the value in things. Like going to the spa, I see the value of relaxing and de-stressing, he sees Php 1,000 of useless spending. It’s obvious we have different spending styles, how do we deal with it?
Shane, the spa girl
For couples, the issue of finances can be quite challenging, specially when you feel that the funds are not enough. Your arguments will surface more often, especially when bill due dates near or when it’s the time of the year for paying insurance, tuition, or during seasons that provoke you to spend, like mall sales. It would be good for you to go on a date and discern together how to spend your financial blessings. Start by identifying what is most crucial among your expenses, then identify an amount that will be acceptable for each of your needs. It is also good to have a bit of elbow room when celebrating birthdays or anniversaries, and important occasions that come only once in life. Let each spending moment also be a moment of being grateful to each other and to God who is the source of all.
Instead of getting stuck with the idea that you have different spending styles, things might work better if you have a budget plan. Your husband will honor you when he sees that both of you share the same priorities when it comes to finances. He probably knows how to value things that will make you happy and stress-free but also wants to make sure that you do not spend out of whim. Sit together and plan your finances for the year. Draw up a monthly or weekly budget plan. If you two have a consistent paycheck, this is sure to work out for you. If your income varies every month, then all the more you need to tailor-fit your spending.
I understand that going to the spa is not the same as spending on jewelry or signature items, but just the same, these little expenses pile up and when left unmanaged can create a real concern in your marriage. Sit down and talk. Does he think you may be overspending on some things? How often can he allow you to make these small trips to the salon or the spa? In the end, I hope that the discussion will enlighten you both. It would be great if you can agree on values to guide you in financial matters. Praying before the discussion will give you the grace to keep the discussion under control. Praying after creates room for God to grow both your plans and efforts.
I pray you will be one in your finances, and that the Lord will continue to bless the works of your hands. God bless.